Why Men Need Other Men

MY JOURNEY TO BROTHERHOOD

I started attending church when I was 15 years old. But it took me years to truly surrender my life to Jesus. I had a lot of sin in my life, and I didn’t know how to let it go. It was a struggle, and for a long time, I was trying to navigate my faith alone.

What made the difference?

Without a doubt, it was the men God had placed in my life. I was blessed to have great mentors—strong pastors and Christian men who lived out their faith as an example of masculinity I had seldom seen in the world or in my home. Their example helped shape me into the man I am today.

WHERE DO MEN LEARN TO BE MEN?

Growing up, I never saw a godly man. I didn’t know how to love my wife and my kids or how to treat people. There were lots of men around me, but none looked like Jesus.

So where do men go to learn to be...well...men?

For me, the church was the first place I encountered a different kind of manhood—one defined not by dominance or self-sufficiency but by humility, service, and faithfulness. Brotherhood with other men of faith became a refuge where I could be honest about my struggles and learn from others walking the same road.

The church provided a place where I could be real. A place where I could sit with other men and say, ‘I struggle with _________.’ A place where I could do this without pretense or judgment was a milestone for me. And that’s what men’s ministry is about—breaking the cycle of isolation and finding a place to wrestle with life together rather than alone in silence.

THE NECESSITY OF BROTHERHOOD

During my conversation with Pastor Allen, he asked, “Can you give me a story or circumstance that speaks to the importance of brotherhood in a man’s life?” Upon reflection, I want to answer that by sharing two key aspects that highlight the importance of men supporting each other in the church:

1. About five years ago, before COVID, my friend Eddie Estrada and I were working on maintenance projects at Bay Hills. As we served together, we discovered common ground—not just in our skills but in how God was moving in our lives. That shared experience opened our eyes to the power of walking alongside other men in faith, encouraging and challenging one another. Over time, more men joined us, seeking deeper faith and accountability, proving that we are always stronger together.
2. Another powerful benefit of men gathering together comes from the experiences shared by those who have walked this journey. A recurring theme is the ‘band of brothers’ effect—where trust is forged through honesty rather than the need to maintain an image. When men are willing to be real about their struggles, brotherhood becomes a place of strength, where they stand together in life’s battles, celebrate victories, and grow through shared wisdom.

Men are stronger because of other men. Solomon, one of the wisest men in history, expressed it this way:

“And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not easily broken.” —Ecclesiastes 4:12

Having one trusted friend brings strength, but surrounding yourself with a brotherhood multiplies it. Time and again, I’ve seen this truth play out—not only in my own life but in the lives of countless men who have experienced the transformative power of genuine connection.

BREAKING THE SILENCE, FINDING THE STRENGTH

One of the most powerful moments I’ve witnessed in men’s ministry was when someone stood up and asked, “Do any of you ever struggle with your faith?” It was a simple question, yet incredibly courageous. From a young age, men are taught that vulnerability is a weakness—that we’re supposed to have it all together and admitting struggle means failure. But the truth is, isolation is what weakens us.  

I know this firsthand. There were times I withdrew, leaning toward depression, exactly where the enemy wanted me to be. But everything changed when I surrounded myself with other men—men who, like me, were fighting for their faith.

IRON SHARPENS IRON

There’s a reason Proverbs 27:17 says, ‘As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.’ Men need other men. Not just for friendship but for accountability, growth, and the courage to face life’s battles with integrity.

One of the most practical ways this sharpening happens is in the way men interact with each other. There’s a reason we rib each other, joke, and test each other—it’s a way of figuring out who’s safe. Who takes themselves too seriously? Who can handle real talk? Who will listen without judgment? We’re looking for brothers we can trust.

When men find that trust in each other, walls come down. The masks drop. And real growth begins.

BUILT TO FIGHT

I’ve always believed men were created for a purpose. The book Wild At Heart describes three desires placed deep within every man: A battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue. That resonates with me. Even as a Christian, I still feel that. God created us with a longing for purpose, for something worth fighting for.

Men’s ministry is about helping men fight the right battles—battles for faith, integrity, and family. It’s about inviting them into the greatest adventure of all: following Jesus. And it’s about showing them that the strength to do all of this doesn’t come from going at it alone—it comes from walking alongside brothers in Jesus.

AN INVITATION TO BROTHERHOOD

If you've ever felt isolated in your faith, in your battles, or in your longing to become more than what the world expects—consider this your invitation. You weren’t meant to go it alone. There are men who share your struggles, your hopes, and your desire to grow. Let them walk with you. Be open. Be authentic. And allow iron to sharpen iron. Strength is not found in solitude, and reliance on others is not weakness. Teams thrive on it, soldiers depend on it, and the church is built on it.

Now, it’s your turn to embrace it.